Anger Management Workshop Session #2
Today was the second day of our Anger Management Workshop, and our group met at 8.15am at Gracehaven to set up the materials at the venue.
Using Kolb's Experiential Learning Model, I will be reflecting on my greatest challenge and opportunity from each session.
Boys' Session - Greatest Challenge
Concrete Experiences
During "What Do I Do When I'm Angry", Danial brought up a point that got me thinking. How do we stand up for ourselves when the person against us is a person we care about?
Reflective Observations
It was difficult for me to realise, that such seemingly simple scenarios really did not have simple answers, because all our actions have consequences. By reacting we might hurt the other person, by not reacting, we might hurt ourselves.
Abstract Conceptualisation
It seems that our solution was actually one that we had all along, printed on the back of our name tags, serving as a general guideline as to how to manage our anger, regardless of the circumstance.
Active Experimentation
I feel that firstly to 'stop' and secondly to 'give yourself space' is actually two very useful steps in managing anger for myself. Very often I am caught up in my own emotions and I let my emotions drive me instead of my rationality. Only after cooling down would I be better able to analyse the problem from a more objective point of view.
Boys' Session - Greatest Opportunity
Concrete Experiences
During the activity "What Do I Do When I'm Angry", one of the 14 year old boys mentioned that he might hit the other person. So I asked him if he knew the consequences, and he said he did.
So I asked him, "Is it worth it?" He said, "Yes, because the other person deserves it." I told him, "In the short run, it feels good. But in the long run?" Then he looked at me and we exchanged glances. "In the long run, yeah, it might not be worth it."
Reflective Observations
The fact that the resident clearly know the trade-off between long term and short term benefits reassures me that he is rational in his thoughts, it's just more likely that he is more rash in his actions.
Abstract Conceptualisation
Personally, I wanted to get across at least one message to one resident, that hopefully he or she will remember, and I genuinely hope that this message got through to him.
Active Experimentation
Evaluating between short term and long term benefits are very real in our everyday lives. For example, should we put off our homework to the last minute to watch another episode on Netflix? We all know the right answer, but whether we do it, is another story.
However, being able to seriously consider pros and cons over different time frames is very important and a crucial skill in major life decisions.
Girls' Session - Greatest Challenge
Concrete Experiences
During 'Heads Up', with the group of 14 year old girls, for almost every emotion they used Central Narcotics Bureau (CNB) as a reference point.
For example, if the emotion is 'scared', the reference point would be "CNB knocking on your door at midnight when you taking a hit." and they would be able to guess the word 'scared'.
Reflective Observations
I was honestly at a loss as to how to react to all the drug related examples and how the girls were all laughing about it so casually. Should I say something about it? But I honestly wasn't very educated on the subject and I wasn't able to neither confront nor change the subject.
Abstract Conceptualisation
This showed me that I lacked confidence in my own facilitation skills, as I was afraid to confront the issue at hand and let the girls take control.
Active Experimentation
My personal challenge for myself would be to either be daring enough to confront them to think critically of their examples and what it reflects of themselves or to be able steer the conversation away from unhealthy topics and back to the main point.
Girls' Session - Greatest Opportunity
Concrete Experiences
The girls did not take the activity 'What Do I Do When I'm Angry?' seriously. They knew the consequences of their actions but just nonchalantly said, "Go Girls Home lorh." or "Go jail lorh."
Kada then questioned the girls," Do you really want to spend your twenties locked in? And by the time you are released, the prime of your lives would have passed." The girls thought for a bit and finally admitted," Yeah okay, actually a bit scared of going to jail."
Reflective Observations
It struck me that the thought of going to a home or even jail, did not scare them, and if such a severe punishment did not deter them, I was at a loss.
However, Kada's point was not just about the time spent in jail, it was the time that could be spent outside jail, the opportunity cost.
Abstract Conceptualisation
Most recently, I learnt about the Cycle of Change and Motivational Interviewing. The first step is to shift the interviewee from the stage of 'Pre-Contemplation', from not even thinking about changing, to 'Contemplation', to consider a change in their behaviour (Miller & Rollnick, 2002).
One way to do that is to develop discrepancy, think about the person's personal goals and show them that what they are doing, is moving themselves away from their goals. What Kada did was exactly that, figuring out what was important to the girls, the freedom in their twenties, and if they continue indulging in their rash behaviours, they might not be able to reach there.
Active Experimentation
I realised that these are very useful concept that I could apply to anyone who suffers from, for example alcohol or gaming addiction and needs to seriously consider professional help.
(1000 Words)
References:
Miller, W. R., & Rollnick, S. (2002). Motivational interviewing: preparing people for change. New York: Guilford Press.
Using Kolb's Experiential Learning Model, I will be reflecting on my greatest challenge and opportunity from each session.
Boys' Session - Greatest Challenge
Concrete Experiences
During "What Do I Do When I'm Angry", Danial brought up a point that got me thinking. How do we stand up for ourselves when the person against us is a person we care about?
Reflective Observations
It was difficult for me to realise, that such seemingly simple scenarios really did not have simple answers, because all our actions have consequences. By reacting we might hurt the other person, by not reacting, we might hurt ourselves.
Abstract Conceptualisation
 |
| Anger Management Tips on the back of name tags |
Active Experimentation
I feel that firstly to 'stop' and secondly to 'give yourself space' is actually two very useful steps in managing anger for myself. Very often I am caught up in my own emotions and I let my emotions drive me instead of my rationality. Only after cooling down would I be better able to analyse the problem from a more objective point of view.
Boys' Session - Greatest Opportunity
 |
| "What Should I Do?" Qn 1: Top two written by older boys, bottom two written by younger boys |
Concrete Experiences
During the activity "What Do I Do When I'm Angry", one of the 14 year old boys mentioned that he might hit the other person. So I asked him if he knew the consequences, and he said he did.
So I asked him, "Is it worth it?" He said, "Yes, because the other person deserves it." I told him, "In the short run, it feels good. But in the long run?" Then he looked at me and we exchanged glances. "In the long run, yeah, it might not be worth it."
The fact that the resident clearly know the trade-off between long term and short term benefits reassures me that he is rational in his thoughts, it's just more likely that he is more rash in his actions.
Abstract Conceptualisation
Personally, I wanted to get across at least one message to one resident, that hopefully he or she will remember, and I genuinely hope that this message got through to him.
Active Experimentation
Evaluating between short term and long term benefits are very real in our everyday lives. For example, should we put off our homework to the last minute to watch another episode on Netflix? We all know the right answer, but whether we do it, is another story.
However, being able to seriously consider pros and cons over different time frames is very important and a crucial skill in major life decisions.
Girls' Session - Greatest Challenge
Concrete Experiences
 |
| 'Heads Up' Activity |
For example, if the emotion is 'scared', the reference point would be "CNB knocking on your door at midnight when you taking a hit." and they would be able to guess the word 'scared'.
Reflective Observations
I was honestly at a loss as to how to react to all the drug related examples and how the girls were all laughing about it so casually. Should I say something about it? But I honestly wasn't very educated on the subject and I wasn't able to neither confront nor change the subject.
Abstract Conceptualisation
This showed me that I lacked confidence in my own facilitation skills, as I was afraid to confront the issue at hand and let the girls take control.
Active Experimentation
My personal challenge for myself would be to either be daring enough to confront them to think critically of their examples and what it reflects of themselves or to be able steer the conversation away from unhealthy topics and back to the main point.
Girls' Session - Greatest Opportunity
Concrete Experiences
The girls did not take the activity 'What Do I Do When I'm Angry?' seriously. They knew the consequences of their actions but just nonchalantly said, "Go Girls Home lorh." or "Go jail lorh."
Kada then questioned the girls," Do you really want to spend your twenties locked in? And by the time you are released, the prime of your lives would have passed." The girls thought for a bit and finally admitted," Yeah okay, actually a bit scared of going to jail."
 |
| 'What Do I Do When I'm Angry?' |
It struck me that the thought of going to a home or even jail, did not scare them, and if such a severe punishment did not deter them, I was at a loss.
However, Kada's point was not just about the time spent in jail, it was the time that could be spent outside jail, the opportunity cost.
Abstract Conceptualisation
Most recently, I learnt about the Cycle of Change and Motivational Interviewing. The first step is to shift the interviewee from the stage of 'Pre-Contemplation', from not even thinking about changing, to 'Contemplation', to consider a change in their behaviour (Miller & Rollnick, 2002).
One way to do that is to develop discrepancy, think about the person's personal goals and show them that what they are doing, is moving themselves away from their goals. What Kada did was exactly that, figuring out what was important to the girls, the freedom in their twenties, and if they continue indulging in their rash behaviours, they might not be able to reach there.
Active Experimentation
I realised that these are very useful concept that I could apply to anyone who suffers from, for example alcohol or gaming addiction and needs to seriously consider professional help.
(1000 Words)
References:
Miller, W. R., & Rollnick, S. (2002). Motivational interviewing: preparing people for change. New York: Guilford Press.
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